The past few months I've been doing a lot better. I realized I probably won't be dropping any of my hobbies in the near future, so I've been cycling through them. Recently I made a couple more collages, wrapped some crystals and made necklaces for some friends, and I even cleaned my room. I got covid this week and I've been baking a lot again. My plant collection has grown more.
I also rescued a cat! Her name is Papaya, she's pretty little for a 5 month old but she's adapted well to living with me. Now I just have to try to get her and my boyfriend's cat on good terms... I've been feeling very overwhelmed with school, I like to ignore it until it's too big of a problem and then I ignore it some more so I don't have to think of the stress. Right now is a good example. Instead of trying to catch up on summer work I'm updating my website. Typical :).
Just took a long break, watched Tinker Bell again, made mini bundt cakes and now I'm gonna try to play Nier Automata again. Kind of mad at myself for not having a slow down mode or something. I'll try to update some more pages this week since there's not much else to do. Until then.
Growing up with the internet has made it increasingly difficult for me to let go of it when I need to. A lot of times I find myself between math questions surfing the web in hopes of a distraction. I use the internet for everything. I know it's not good for me, and I feel myself losing interest in slower activities I once enjoyed thouroughly. Even old video games I have tried to pick up are too slow and boring in comparison to what I could find online.
It is now, through those same older games and activities I used to use as a distraction, that I am retraining my brain to appreciate life on a different level. My parents probably wouldn't think that playing a game on my ds would count as slowing down, but for me it's a challenge. A challenge to not just google how to beat the game, how to make my life easier while playing, and to enjoy the world and effort that went into making it.
I've started to read more again as well; something I once did avidly, and have since fallen off. Sometimes I wish for a simpler life. One where I am not distracted by bright shiny things, moving images, and always craving something new. The grass is always greener on the other side as they say, but I can't help and wonder what my life could be like if I disconnected.